Necessity is the Phoenix of Chaos
by batman100
Summary: The X-Men never thought they'd see the day when Jean would finally succumbed to Scott's crazy, cheerful insanity...until NOW. Heaven help us.


**Necessity is the Phoenix of Chaos**

It was a peaceful morning at the X-Mansion estate, Jean was currently relaxing on her velvet couch, dreaming of being on a Hawaiian beach, sipping a tropical drink with Scott, palm trees swaying in the winds, hula music playing in the sands, everything sounded like pure melody

"Hey Jean! Jean! Wake up!" Scott said, in a voice that sounded a lot like Kitty

"Oh Scott, touch me, hold me, make me feel beautiful…" Jean muttered in her sleep, obviously having not snapped out of her trance and started touching Kitty, imagining her for her husband, who was not in the room

"Uh, Jean? What are you doing? And second of all, I'm not Scott. It's me, Kitty." Kitty blushed, embarrassed as Jean started kissing her slippers

"What the?" Logan asked, with a disgusted look on his face, having wandered into the commotion. Kurt was there, trying to keep a straight face while recording the bizarre event on his mini-camera

"Waiter, oh waiter, two more tropical vodkas…" Jean called out dazed, mistaking Logan for a beach servant

"What the hell do I look like, a maitre'd?" Logan spat, insulted by the insane remark

"Easy Logan, Jean's just having one of her crazy Scott fantasies again, unlike **last time** she did that…" Lance grimaced, remembering the 'Valentine's Day' incident

"Lance, that was several months ago! And Jean was drunk, because **somebody** had to pour hashish into the punch bowl!" Rogue hissed, glaring at a sheepish Logan

"Oh come on now, it was an accident! I still say the labels for the ingredients were switched!" Logan confessed, as Jean now started undressing Kitty

"Jean, what are you **doing**? Have you been eating beef burritos before bed again?" Kitty gasped as Jean started kissing her forehead

"Oh really Scott, you've never been **this** much romantic…" Jean giggled, waving her elegant red hair as the entire X-Men gathered around at the spectacle

"I've seen several Jean-Scott dates before, but let me tell you, none like **that**." Remy gasped in disgust

"Popcorn?" Logan snickered, handing a bowl of popcorn to Bobby, who naturally took it with his carefree grin

"Bobby, what's the matter with you? Have you no decency over this?!" Rogue snapped, trying to get to Bobby's ice-cold common sense, fogged with frolic, silliness and carefree recklessness

"Uh, I'll take US Presidents for five hundred, Alex." Bobby blubbered, lost in thought as the X-Gang stared at him in astonishment "What?"

"Man…what in the **hell**!" Logan spat, as Bobby continued munching on his food

"I can guess one thing: when the **real** Scott sees this, he's definitely **not** going to like this." Kurt whimpered, as ironically, Scott's X-Car was parking by the garage

"Oh come on, cant you see this is some comedy act?" Logan snorted before Kitty shrieked

"a **comedy act**?! How dare you! Since when do you call a female having a fetish fantasy using a second female for a puppet!?" Kitty barked, outraged

"And on that note, it may make some good money." Logan grinned, dollar signs in his eyes

"You're sick, you know that." Kitty snorted in disgust as Jean's eyes finally opened and her senses came flooding back

"What in…Kitty…what happened last night?" Jean asked, having woken from her bizarre hypnotic state, only to see the X-Gang with embarrassed looks….and the **real** Scott, apparently shocked and strangely amused by the events

"Well Ms. Virtual Reality Romance, your **real** loverboy is here." Kitty muttered, before her eyes went wide as Scott burst into laughter

"Scott! How **could** you?! You find this FUNNY?!" Kitty hollered in horror

"Oh man, that was hilarious! That-that was so funny! I think we did that on our anniversary, right honey snuggles?" Scott replied as Jean stared back at him with lovesick eyes

"Well, what can I say, out of the frying pan and into the fire…" Rogue groaned before noticing Pyro

"Did someone say fire?!" Pyro yelped gleefully, whipping out his flamethrower

"Oh no, not **again**…" Kitty blubbered as she watched her beloved poinsettias plants go up in smoke, thanks to Pyro's fire packs

"Hey, that gives me an idea…" Bobby joked, having that silly look on his face

"OH NO YOU DON'T! NO SINGING!" Logan roared, before Bobby stuffed a frozen turkey into his mouth

"_I'm Mister White Christmas, I'm Mister Snow! I'm Mister Icicle! I'm Mister Ten Below! They call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch, turns to snow in my clutch. I'm too much!_" Bobby sang gleefully as Jamie and his clones did a tap-dance routine to the beat

"This…proves…*nothing*." Logan grunted, spitting out frozen pieces of meat

"_He's Mister White Christmas, he's Mister Snow._" The Jamie clones chorused

"_That's right!_" Jean chimed in, wearing a snow queen-dressed outfit

"JEAN! Have you gone **nuts**? Get back here! And get rid of that ridiculous outfit!" Logan screamed

"_He's Mister Icicle, he's Mister Ten Below._" Jean crooned as Bobby struck an Elvis-like pose

"Oh you've got to be joking…" Warren groaned, rolling his eyes

"Well Scott, congratulations: Your craziness has finally made Red go off the deep end." Logan snorted as Scott tapped his feet to the beat

"_They call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch, turns to snow in my clutch. I'm too much._" Bobby belted out, as Jean planted a wintery smooch on his cheek

"Ok that does it! Come here Frosty, I'll give you **something** to sing about!" Logan snarled, charging before Jean threw a snowball, smacking Logan in the face

"How do you like those apples?" Jean snickered hysterically

"Grrr…that's it! Come here, you snow crazies!" Logan roared, his berserk state taking over

"Tag! You're it!" Jean yelped playfully, freezing Logan's feet

"You've been hanging around that eggnog for **too** long, Red!" Logan ranted, chasing after Jean, Bobby and the Jamie clones as the X-Gang watched in amusement

"Never thought I'd see the day Jean would finally lighten up." Victor replied, astonished by Jean's sudden change of personality

"Tell me about it, no thanks to Mr. King of Pranks over here." Rogue snorted, as Scott just watched with a huge smile as Jean finally accepted his happiness energy

"Well, I think we learned something from all this…" Scott grinned, hiding a well-crafted snowball behind his back

"And what sort of cockamamie lesson is **that**?" Rogue grunted before Scott splattered a snowball on Rogue

"Happiness is contagious!" Scott joked, laughing maniacally as Rogue chased after him, shouting nonsense

"Get back here! One of these days, your silly pranks will drive us all **crazy**!" Rogue ranted, out of breath as Scott raced past her, full of energy and vigor

"Well…looks like Christmas joy is around, eh?" Kurt asked as Peter watched the events unfold

"Very true, buddy. Very true." Peter replied, before turning to Kurt "Come on, let's do some snowboarding."

"I thought you'd never ask." Kurt smiled, holding his snowboard as the two walked out into the snowy yard, not noticing the familiar spiky blond-haired figure watching them on the roof

"Gosh, I love Christmas." Goku smiled, giving the camera a wink


End file.
